As i lay on my couch after drinking a few black label pegs i finally decided to write my first blog. Though i have no clue of what i am writing so read at your own risk. This blog is just a narration of various phases of my life as i take a walk down memory lane to as far as i remember. It is not something very impressive, but just the story of an average Indian guy's major transformations covered in 3 phases so far.
A short overview about myself, i have done my schooling of 12 years in 7 different schools in 6 different cities all across India.
All through my school i had always been a shy guy who could barely stand up for himself anywhere. some remember-able moments are what i mention in this blog. Till 7th grade i had spent about 4 years in an a ll boys school. I didn't have to worry about much there. I had my share of friends over time and we enjoyed doing useless stuff that i don't even remember. After that time till i finished 10th grade in a co-ed school i realized i was the ugly duckling in the brood as i could barely talk to a girl. Though i had the first serious crush of my life, still i didn't take any serious action about it even after help from my friends. It was the time i was intimidated by any big or a smooth talking guy for no reason. All those punks were out to impress the chicks. Everything about guys revolves around girls in the end was my conclusion.
As i moved on to 11th grade to a new town and a new school i carried on the legacy of a looser. I still remember on how i asked one of the good looking girls of the school from my class for a new music album CD and the response i got was "Why are you so scared as if you are proposing to me" and she laughed with her friends. I wondered for some time was i that stuck up. Some how thanks to such incidents i was at least able to pass the biggest hurdle of my having an open conversation with a girl. As it turns out i am still friends with some of those girls and also made some amazing chilled out genius friends with whom i still stay in touch 12 years down the line. High school was the time when i met the love of my life, though i never realized it that time. But thinking about it now only makes me feel like jumping back in time and fixing the mistakes i made so far. Stuff like not running away from her birthday party to which only 3 of my friends were invited. We were about to enter the gate of her big house and looking at so many girls all around we turned our bikes around and fled like we were some criminals. High school was also the time when i actually chased after another crush of mine, the senior year school captain on my racing cycle while she used to go to school every morning. The racing cycle was one of the few things that i had and i was proud off. Though that cycle barely had any brakes and it ended with me damaging my nose and jaw bone trying out crazy stunts on busy streets. I got my first plaster and i was proud of it. It looked like a knight's armor covering the head and the nose. High school was also the time when the first confusion about what to do in life came up. Whether to become an engineer (what my dad wanted), a doctor (what my mom wanted), join the army ( what i wanted) or do just about anything which didn't include studying (what i actually wanted).
High school ended and all the friends ended up going to different colleges thinking we would never meet again. The timid small guy finally started to get a taste of life and thinking he had it all by the time he passed out from school. Barely did i have an idea of what i would become when i would move to college. Till the end of my school days is what i consider the 1st phase of my life.
It was 2002 when the 2nd phase of my life started. I had a decent enough score in the board exams of high school, but not good enough at home. I didn't clear the entrance exams to any good college of the country nor did i manage to get any scholarship to a regular college. I ended up joining an average college out of the city i stayed in and moved to hostel doing computer engineering. Everything i was till now changed. I learnt about actual failure for the first time. By failure i mean actually seeing a "F" mark on your score card of the university exams. Something i didn't know how to handle till date. I drove my bike to the highway and sat there thinking what went wrong. Then i started to change, i said screw it all, i don't care. I will live my life however i feel like, failure is a part of like i should learn to handle. Though my parents moved out me out of hostel for a while thinking it would make a difference in my grades driving down 25 miles everyday to college instead of shaming in hostel. But i was already a lost cause because of the 1 year of freedom in hostel. I made some amazing friends right from first year, with episodes that are more hilarious than your regular comedy shows on television and still . The initial 2 years college group had a high spirited, organized scholar who kept singing Enimen "Loose Yourself" throughout the day, a city boy who had done it all, smoke-drink-etc by the time he had joined college, 3 losers including me who were on the same boat of engineering since school days and a lot many others. Now i categorized our type of people as "Loosers". Extra emphasis on the "o" intended. None of us had a serious girl friend, those who had, never even went beyond holding hands till now. First semester of engineering was also the first encounters in a lot other areas, first of failure, first sip of alcohol, first of ..., first of late night movies, first night club, first college bunk, first bike and some more.
As time progressed to 2nd and 3rd semester i started to realize that how badly i was in love with the girl from my school. By 4th semester i was again back in hostel making merry. By 6th semester the legend of Bramha had started off as well at hostel. A guy who ate spider legs, climbed up vertical walls without any support, jumped down from 1st floor, banged his head here and there defying the current meaning of head banging, the undefeated champion Of Age Of Empires 2 till the end of engineering within the college network. This looser that was me had no thoughts about college grades, getting a job after college or anything else. He just kept going with the flow, slept at 4:00 AM everyday after long discussions about the games played till that time and wake up at 11:00 AM only to skip college and play a round of CS. Exam times were the only time i opened the books and to my surprise i ended up doing better than the way i used to struggle before. Though even after putting up this charade of doing freaky stuff, i never got the guts to ask out the love of my life. I only ignored those feelings at that time thinking i am going crazy. It is not i realize that it was love all along. 6th Semester was also the time i went to a town called Bhopal where my parents were staying at the time to meet the 2nd love of my life. She was almost the same as the 1st one, but i actually started looking at her from the point of love right from the beginning. She was the first girl i proposed and spent hours talking on the phone after getting high on old monk and 8 PM (a famous Whiskey brand in India at the time - A Time for Friends). Though she didn't take me seriously. The problem with my life at this point was that no one took me seriously at anything. Neither did i take anything seriously was the even bigger problem. By Final semester i was sure that i wouldn't get a job and would go home and stay with my parents at Bhopal and enjoy the rest of my life with the 2nd love of life. After a few terms i had coined the term Sync 1 and Sync 2 for the 2 love of my lives. The word Sync represents "Synchronized Thinking". Some how even if they don't feel the same i thought that we had the same thought process. We enjoyed Pink Floyd like anything, our passion for sports was equal. We were quite liberal about live in all regards. But life doesn't always go the way you think it will.
It was 2 months before passing out from college, when i was going to drink my morning tea at a tea shop in the college campus and some of my looser batch mates told me i have to go for a company campus placement test. Though not too excited about it i some how reached the exam hall of the company a few minutes late wearing a wrinkled shirt with a stubble and a big grin as this was my first job try out. Unfortunately or fortunately this was also the last one. I some how with some stroke of luck cleared the entry test, then cleared 3 round of interviews on the same day and got a offer letter as well with a joining for the day immediately after passing out. The end of the 2nd phase of my life was nearing. The timid guy who became a freaky wild creature who fell in love twice was now going to enter the prosperous IT industry of the country with still no clue about how it all fell upon him. The only thing i could think of at the time was getting drunk and how to proceed on getting in a steady relationship with SYNC 2. Sync 1 was out of the scope for some time now as the feelings of love for her were locked up in a box and kept in some corner of the heard or the mind. I don't know what part of the body controls all this stuff till date. I played Counter Strike and Age of Empires on the network till my hearts content as i knew these golden days won't return. All the loosers looked at life like the story of the movie "Dil Chahta Hai". How three friends enjoyed life and how life sent them away on different paths only to meet again as completely different people. The other part during this phase was the return to get after my personal goal of joining the Army as well. I thought that now that i was finally an adult i could do anything i felt like. I applied for armed forces and cleared the 1st round of interviews. I thought that my passion was enough to get me through in the forces. I had already dreamed about joining the Indian Military Academy and volunteering for Infantry. I was physically prepared to take on any existing candidate at the time and only thought about what to do after join the forces. But to my own surprise the Selection Board managed to kick me out sooner than i expected in the interview process. I never got the reason for why i was rejected. I think they thought the passion to serve the forces was all just a charade and i didn't have the balls to handle it. Though my quest for my dream didn't end here. It will continue in the 3rd phase of my life. The phase where Bramha and Fight for honor names were only part of memories and they continued from the time i joined my job till the next 5 years.
It was 2002 when the 2nd phase of my life started. I had a decent enough score in the board exams of high school, but not good enough at home. I didn't clear the entrance exams to any good college of the country nor did i manage to get any scholarship to a regular college. I ended up joining an average college out of the city i stayed in and moved to hostel doing computer engineering. Everything i was till now changed. I learnt about actual failure for the first time. By failure i mean actually seeing a "F" mark on your score card of the university exams. Something i didn't know how to handle till date. I drove my bike to the highway and sat there thinking what went wrong. Then i started to change, i said screw it all, i don't care. I will live my life however i feel like, failure is a part of like i should learn to handle. Though my parents moved out me out of hostel for a while thinking it would make a difference in my grades driving down 25 miles everyday to college instead of shaming in hostel. But i was already a lost cause because of the 1 year of freedom in hostel. I made some amazing friends right from first year, with episodes that are more hilarious than your regular comedy shows on television and still . The initial 2 years college group had a high spirited, organized scholar who kept singing Enimen "Loose Yourself" throughout the day, a city boy who had done it all, smoke-drink-etc by the time he had joined college, 3 losers including me who were on the same boat of engineering since school days and a lot many others. Now i categorized our type of people as "Loosers". Extra emphasis on the "o" intended. None of us had a serious girl friend, those who had, never even went beyond holding hands till now. First semester of engineering was also the first encounters in a lot other areas, first of failure, first sip of alcohol, first of ..., first of late night movies, first night club, first college bunk, first bike and some more.
As time progressed to 2nd and 3rd semester i started to realize that how badly i was in love with the girl from my school. By 4th semester i was again back in hostel making merry. By 6th semester the legend of Bramha had started off as well at hostel. A guy who ate spider legs, climbed up vertical walls without any support, jumped down from 1st floor, banged his head here and there defying the current meaning of head banging, the undefeated champion Of Age Of Empires 2 till the end of engineering within the college network. This looser that was me had no thoughts about college grades, getting a job after college or anything else. He just kept going with the flow, slept at 4:00 AM everyday after long discussions about the games played till that time and wake up at 11:00 AM only to skip college and play a round of CS. Exam times were the only time i opened the books and to my surprise i ended up doing better than the way i used to struggle before. Though even after putting up this charade of doing freaky stuff, i never got the guts to ask out the love of my life. I only ignored those feelings at that time thinking i am going crazy. It is not i realize that it was love all along. 6th Semester was also the time i went to a town called Bhopal where my parents were staying at the time to meet the 2nd love of my life. She was almost the same as the 1st one, but i actually started looking at her from the point of love right from the beginning. She was the first girl i proposed and spent hours talking on the phone after getting high on old monk and 8 PM (a famous Whiskey brand in India at the time - A Time for Friends). Though she didn't take me seriously. The problem with my life at this point was that no one took me seriously at anything. Neither did i take anything seriously was the even bigger problem. By Final semester i was sure that i wouldn't get a job and would go home and stay with my parents at Bhopal and enjoy the rest of my life with the 2nd love of life. After a few terms i had coined the term Sync 1 and Sync 2 for the 2 love of my lives. The word Sync represents "Synchronized Thinking". Some how even if they don't feel the same i thought that we had the same thought process. We enjoyed Pink Floyd like anything, our passion for sports was equal. We were quite liberal about live in all regards. But life doesn't always go the way you think it will.
It was 2 months before passing out from college, when i was going to drink my morning tea at a tea shop in the college campus and some of my looser batch mates told me i have to go for a company campus placement test. Though not too excited about it i some how reached the exam hall of the company a few minutes late wearing a wrinkled shirt with a stubble and a big grin as this was my first job try out. Unfortunately or fortunately this was also the last one. I some how with some stroke of luck cleared the entry test, then cleared 3 round of interviews on the same day and got a offer letter as well with a joining for the day immediately after passing out. The end of the 2nd phase of my life was nearing. The timid guy who became a freaky wild creature who fell in love twice was now going to enter the prosperous IT industry of the country with still no clue about how it all fell upon him. The only thing i could think of at the time was getting drunk and how to proceed on getting in a steady relationship with SYNC 2. Sync 1 was out of the scope for some time now as the feelings of love for her were locked up in a box and kept in some corner of the heard or the mind. I don't know what part of the body controls all this stuff till date. I played Counter Strike and Age of Empires on the network till my hearts content as i knew these golden days won't return. All the loosers looked at life like the story of the movie "Dil Chahta Hai". How three friends enjoyed life and how life sent them away on different paths only to meet again as completely different people. The other part during this phase was the return to get after my personal goal of joining the Army as well. I thought that now that i was finally an adult i could do anything i felt like. I applied for armed forces and cleared the 1st round of interviews. I thought that my passion was enough to get me through in the forces. I had already dreamed about joining the Indian Military Academy and volunteering for Infantry. I was physically prepared to take on any existing candidate at the time and only thought about what to do after join the forces. But to my own surprise the Selection Board managed to kick me out sooner than i expected in the interview process. I never got the reason for why i was rejected. I think they thought the passion to serve the forces was all just a charade and i didn't have the balls to handle it. Though my quest for my dream didn't end here. It will continue in the 3rd phase of my life. The phase where Bramha and Fight for honor names were only part of memories and they continued from the time i joined my job till the next 5 years.
This part.. "Whether to become an engineer (what my dad wanted), a doctor (what my mom wanted), join the army ( what i wanted)" took my eye..!!! I dont blame you for finally becoming what your dad wanted.. "An engineer".. :P
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